Scars on the inside? We’ve all got them. I have more scars on the inside than I do on the outside:
I’ve had knee surgery, numerous tumors removed from my chest and legs, and three brain surgeries. Hence I have all sorts of scar tissue you can see (except I have long hair), but the scars inside often prove more troublesome. The reason is that I can talk about the external scars, wounds, and surgical procedures. Every time I go into a new doctor they ask you to list (and date) all your surgery.
I’ve never had a doctor, or anyone else, ask if I have internal scars. Have you ever been wounded on the inside? I definitely have and it hurts a lot more than my external harms. More importantly, I’ve physically injured others on various (mostly sport) fields of combat, but I have surely injured others in their hearts and souls. I fairly easily am able to bear the wrongs others have done me, but I greatly regret the damage I have committed against others. I have tried to right some of these wrongs, and I have forgiven those who have harmed me. Yet, still the emotional scars remain as a reminder. These scars may fade just as a physical scar diminishes, but for me they never seem to go away entirely. Perhaps that is exactly the way it is supposed to be!
Trauma can be a devastating thing. I’ve seen the wounded and the dying and sometimes it is violent and at other moments peaceful, but trauma can last forever. PTSD is talked about, but not enough. Even if something does not rise to the level of PTSD it can leave an emptiness or a small hole in the soul. These are the spaces where that internal scar lives and causes pain.
I’ve said enough.
